How to STOP Reacting and Start Responding


There is no spoon.

Well, actually, that’s not true, but I couldn’t resist nerding out and making a reference to the Matrix!

There is definitely a spoon, and that spoon is you.

Where am I going with this?

Imagine yourself as water in a glass.  Your natural state is clear and neutral.

Now imagine having a bunch of dirt dumped on top of you.

If you’re patient and just let the dirt be what it is, it will, over time, pass through you and naturally settle on the bottom of the glass, leaving you back in your natural state.

But if you’re human, your inclination as soon as you sense the smallest bit of dust or grime, will be to pick up a spoon and start stirring.

As you stir, faster and faster, you create a whirlpool of dirty water with particles swirling like crazy.  The clanking of the spoon against the glass gets louder and you, the water, are anything but clear and neutral. 

Instead, you’re being pushed and pulled, you can’t see through the blackness and with all the noise it’s hard to think.

Is that how your brain feels sometimes?

Me too!  And that’s why this image of the spoon and the dirt and the water was such a lightbulb moment for me.  It came from the book “The Buddah Walks Into a Bar” by Lodro Rinzler.

For the first time, I had an image of what happens when I start going around and around in a mental spiral. 

Recently, a client was caught in one of those spirals.  She was working the 90 Day Plan we had created together and feeling great! 

But when she got a negative response from someone in the process, she picked up the proverbial spoon.

She felt stuck in a loop of disappointment and frustration, wondering what she did wrong.  

I shared the dirt and water analogy with her, and how it ties right into the Visionary mindset:

We have the ability to make our days happen instead of letting them happen to us.  

She went from feeling completely thrown off to feeling more centered. More confident. More clear.

She said it was empowering to realize that she was the one holding the spoon – not some outside force. And that meant she could choose to stop stirring.

Guess what happened the next week? 

She had more dirt dumped on top of her, and she started stirring again. 

But then, she stopped.

She took a step back and she redirected her mental energy from going down a dark spiral to intentionally putting down the spoon.  

She let things settle, and from a more clear and neutral place she was able to respond instead of react.

So, what dirt are you dealing with today?  Whatever it is, remember that you have the power to recognize if you’re stirring things up and set the spoon aside. 

You have the power to make your day happen instead of letting it happen to you, no matter what comes your way.

Wishing you *your* definition of success!

Lois

P.S. If you want an actual visual of this visual, hop into my private FB group, The Visionary Decision Maker  and check out my latest Live -I’m there diving into this topic in more depth with real dirt from my yard and all!

P.S. If your mind is worn out from swirling around a big decision, I’ve got your back.I’d love to invite you to snag a free Visionary Decision Making Session with me. You’ll bring the biggest decision you’ve got on your mind, and help you gain clarity so you can stop feeling pulled in different directions, reclaim your time and energy and KNOW exactly what steps to take next so you can move forward with confidence.

>>Claim your free session here (my gift to you!)

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