You know you need help with something, but “hire a coach” feels vague and honestly a little intimidating. What are you even supposed to look for? How do you know if someone’s actually good or just good at marketing? In this post, I’m going to give you a clear framework for finding the right guide for your next chapter. Because the right partnership can change everything.
Why Your Usual Support System Isn’t Enough
Friends Are Amazing. They’re Just Not Built for This.
Your friends love you. They want the best for you. They will absolutely sit with you for hours while you process your feelings about whether to leave your job or move cities or blow up your entire life. But here’s the thing: they can’t be objective. They know too much. They have opinions. And sometimes, they’re just as stuck as you are.
One of my clients, Katya, described trying to work through her big questions with friends and journaling. She said she kept “doing the things I know how to do” but “wasn’t getting anywhere new.” Another felt like talking to a therapist wasn’t right because she wanted to “process her future,” not just her past.
This isn’t a knock on therapy or friendship. Both are incredible. But there’s a specific kind of support that’s designed for exactly this moment: when you’re at a crossroads, you need clarity, and you need someone who can help you take step after step after step in a real direction.
What to Actually Look For? You Need a Partner, Not a Guru.
Here’s my philosophy: I’m not here to tell you what to do. I’m here to help you figure out what you actually want, because your Vision is already inside you. We’ve just got to draw it out. The right coach isn’t someone with all the answers. The right coach is someone who can create a safe yet challenging space, ask the questions you haven’t thought to ask, and walk alongside you with a structured process.
Look for someone who feels like a true partner, not a distant expert dispensing wisdom from on high. You want someone who’s in the trenches with you. One of my clients said she appreciated that I “walk the walk” and feel “very close to the process” myself. That matters. You want a guide who has done this work on their own life, not just studied it in a textbook.
And this is crucial: look for structure. The difference between a great coach and a really nice friend is that a great coach has a methodology. Every conversation should lead to the next step, building toward something tangible. If sessions feel like venting without direction, that’s not coaching. That’s expensive friendship.
Questions to Ask Before You Commit
Your Cheat Sheet for Finding the Right Fit
Before you book a discovery call with anyone, get clear on these things:
- Ask about their process. How is the work structured? What will you be building together? If they can’t explain their methodology clearly, keep looking.
- Pay attention to how they make you feel. Do you feel seen and understood, or do you feel like they’re trying to fit you into a box? The right coach will be genuinely curious about you specifically.
- Notice the language they use. Are they talking at you or with you? Partnership language matters. You want “we” and “together,” not lectures and prescriptions.
- Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. The best coaching relationship is one where you feel completely safe to be honest and completely challenged to grow.
Finding the right coach is like finding the right partner for a road trip. You need someone who knows how to read a map, keeps good snacks in the car, and actually wants to go where you’re going. Take your time, ask good questions, and trust yourself. You’ll know when it’s right.
