Hey Visionary,
The holidays are a lot.
Let's be honest, even if you're spending it with friends and not your ridiculous uncle, you're still likely to encounter a few ingredients that could make for a stressful trip.
Traveling in all shapes and flavors, winter weather conditions, your dog eating a bag of Ghirardelli in your backseat the night before... From dry turkey to introducing your partner for the first time (plus covid still out there), there's plenty to anticipate during Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Christmas, or any festive event where you’ll be #blessed to be reunited with family and friends.
Yes, I wrote a guide - because who doesn't need a few tips for overcoming fear, you know?
Before getting started
Get in the mindset. Create a vision that sets you up to be able to meet your definition of success under your terms. Keep it reasonable and realistic.
Example language: “Catching up with people I care about but haven’t seen in a while energized me and made me feel connected.”
Avoid: “Everything was perfect.”
Only you can control your own behavior. Your vision should center on you, the hero of your story. You can’t control other people or create a vision for others, but you can create a detailed view of what you intend to do in any scenario so you have a plan to ensure your success.
Example language: “I’m proud of the way I was ready to honor my boundaries.”
Avoid: “Uncle Sven didn’t drink this time, and no one fought about politics.”
Use Extreme Specificity + Intentional Vagueness. Outline the non-negotiables in detail, while leaving your negotiables open. This opens you up to possibilities, and never closes you off. It’s how you’ll know exactly what destination you’re heading towards and give you flexibility every step of the way.
Example language: “The table was surrounded by my friends and family, a warm glow coming from the candles as we all ate the delicious fruits of our group preparation efforts.”
Avoid: “I’m glad no one brought green bean casserole this year.”
How to create a holiday vision
Once you’re in the mindset, sit somewhere comfortable with a journal. Close your eyes and imagine that it is the day after the event and you are recalling it.
Write a sentence, or a few - about how you want to feel after what happened. If you need a prompt, start with, “It is DATE and I am…”
Be sure to cover your intentions for how it went, from the food to the vibe to the way you handled relational dynamics.
Share it with at least 1 person, it doesn’t matter if they’re attending the same event or not.
Last weekend was filled with my favorite things: friends, family and food. My husband (still feels weird and awesome to say husband now 😀) and I hosted Shabbat at my home in Virginia on Friday night, welcoming friends from near and far into my home. It's satisfying to live this part of my vision, with Tyler making challah that he's perfected over years of Shabbos, my dad laughing, hugs from my girlfriends, recalling old memories and eating delicious snacks.
The next day, my friend Tia hosted Friendsgiving and we did it all again, this time with grilled lamb and a million delicious sides and of course, more challah. I spent the weekend in a food coma, my cheeks hurting from laughter, and took a long delicious nap on Monday, which is why this post is a little late 💤
This part of my vision is vaguely specific: I describe connections with the people I care about, with detailed imagery of the meals we share together. Yet I don't limit my vision to a specific geographical place or aesthetic – I won't because from the clarity work I've done, I know where I'm going, and I won't restrict myself by narrowing the definition of my "Warm Jewish Home" to be too specific.
All of us are going through our own ups and downs – but for one weekend, we can forget it all and be there for each other.
As long as the important pieces are there; the people, the gathering place, the food, and the laughter, it doesn't matter what city we're in, what we're eating, or what’s on the radio. I am living my vision and moments like these, saturated with joy and contentment, remind me of that.
Want to dive deeper? I’ll help you find the unique blend of Extreme Specificity + Intentional Vagueness that helps you accelerate your Vision and create the future you really want (not the future you think you’re supposed to want).
Sending Visionary vibes your way!
Lois
P.S. Ready to talk? Book your discovery call today. I’m looking forward to meeting you.