Not feeling as saucy as you’d like to lately? Let’s get real.
A lot of my clients when they first come to me, start by saying, “so my Vision is like, personal (wink wink) as well as professional, right?
YES!
It's holistic: it's personal, it's professional, it's financial. It's about spirituality if that resonates with you. It's about relationships, and all that entails, including romance and intimacy and especially, how you want to feel in a partnership.
Of the biggest pieces of our relational growth is intimacy
Intimacy is not only on the table for Visioning, but it usually ends up being a necessary part of the process. Intimacy and a healthy relational Vision is a cornerstone of a strong partnership, and also a temperature gauge for when things are feeling “off”.
And of course, people have different comfort levels with how extremely specific (bow chicka bow wow!) or how intentionally vague they get in that part of their Vision. Some clients describe a warm feeling, and others describe very specifically what kind of exciting feelings exploring intimacy can bring to their relationship.
Does it take two to (horizontal) tango?
The first thing to know is that YOU are in control of your sexiness. Your relational Vision is not about your partner – in essence, you could swap out their name for another worthy person and your Vision would still reflect what you want and deserve in a relationship dynamic.
How this plays out in your Vision: It’s up to you
Maybe having a partner is a really important part of your Vision, but you aren't dating anyone right now. Or let's say you do have a partner. They're an important part of your Vision, but maybe it’s kind of cooled off.
It's not up to another person to make you feel a certain way. Let me repeat! It is up to you to start now.
Just as with anything in your Vision, you do not have to wait to start feeling sexier. if you have a three year vision, it does not ever mean that you have to wait three years to start feeling that way. Or hope that within those three years, someone lingerie-worthy shows up in your life.
Get to know yourself again
“This sense of being vibrant and being present to yourself, no matter what situation you’re in — we all need that,” Kaile Videtich, a therapist in Grand Rapids, Michigan told Mic about how to feel sexy again after the pandemic (hint: don’t rely on your partner to make new connections with others and fulfill all your relational needs).
Explore some paths to learning more about and reconnecting with your body. Videtich says this is “a great way to start the process of trying to understand how to love yourself, how to go back to that sense of self-authenticity, reconnecting to this radical part of you that loves you, all of you, no matter what society says, no matter what other people say.”
Starting to feel sexier right now is in your control
I’ll share a story: One client really wanted romanticism in their life moving forward, but they weren't with anyone at the time.
Romance was a big part of their Vision.
I asked, “what does that look like for you in the next five years?”
They said, “well, I mean, I'm not dating anyone. So I mean, nothing yet.”
I wasn’t buying it. “Hmm. How could you start feeling romantic now?”
“What do you mean?”
I told her, “Go into your closet. I am 100% sure that you have a beautiful, flowy, flowery dress, go put that on. Take yourself out to lunch. Take yourself to the grocery store! The point is you can start now.”
You can start feeling that way today. Right now. And the more you do little things like that, the more that just becomes part of what you expect in your life! And when it feels natural and like a thing you deserve because it’s part of who you are at your core and in your Vision, then you will start to exude it naturally and become a magnet for what you want to attract.
“Feeling sexy” means something different to all of us
Here are a few ideas to start feeling sexy TODAY:
Maybe you have your own little secret and wear some cute panties out and about for the day. No one knows but you!
Working out and exercising. Flex it in the mirror and admire your strength (‘gramming it is totally optional).
Light some candles and make yourself a nice meal, enjoy a hot bath, or snuggle down for your favorite movie. Get some ambiance going for yourself.
Be social. Even if it’s just having a coffee with an old friend, going out and interacting in person activates our relational energy and introduces more opportunities to meet new people.
Admire yourself. Check yourself out after a shower in the mirror. Blow yourself a kiss on the way out the door. Say out loud, dangggg you look fine!
Wear romantic clothing that you typically save for special events. Make yourself a special event.
If those resonate with you, fantastic! Again, just remember that you just don’t have to wait. If you want to create a Vision for sexiness (and the rest of your life) today, check out the 8 Step Clarity Accelerator; a Vision course to get you to your sexiest you.