Do you ever make a plan or a promise to yourself and only to never follow through on it?
If you’re nodding, yes, you’re not alone. It happens so often.
When you are Visioning, success at a specific point in your future is the end goal.
To get there, you must make a promise to your future self to do what is needed to achieve that success.
Nobody is perfect. You will come up against obstacles on the way to that future Vision, and there will be points where you don’t succeed in fulfilling those important promises to your future self.
If this sounds familiar, I have some tools in my repertoire that have worked for both myself and my clients time and time again.
Here are three things to do when you find yourself having trouble fulfilling promises to yourself. 👇🏼
Approach your thoughts with neutral curiosity
The concept of approaching your thoughts with a neutral curiosity is common in the meditation and spirituality space.
What this means is that you do not rush to immediately judge your thoughts when they arise.
You do not judge your reactions, actions, or inactions. You do not label your ideas.
This can be harder than it looks.
So often, there is tension when you think of all of the things you should have done, or that you still need to do. You may often berate yourself, thinking things like “I really wanted to do that”, “Why can’t I just get this done?” or “Everyone else can do these things.”
This is a natural, common reaction when it comes to thinking about your own goals and Vision.
The truth is, there is no right or wrong.
You are not missing anything, you are absolutely doing enough, and everyone else has their timeline - one that is theirs and theirs alone.
You need to flip the switch on that reaction and approach the feelings you may be having with curiosity and neutrality instead of guilt and shame. Ask yourself what is going on when those thoughts come through.
I once had a mentor tell me that being a Visionary is about having better and better problems, instead of the same ones over and over.
When you switch that negative internal dialogue to valuable questioning, you can move forward much quicker on your goals.
As you move forward and frame your Vision from a space of curiosity, you can ask valuable questions to help you dig in further to what may be holding you back.
Is the promise to yourself in the foreground or the background?
One of those key questions is to ask yourself is this. 👇🏼
Is the promise to yourself something that you keep front of mind, or is it consistently in the background?
To give you a visual - you know how the iPhone has that cool portrait mode? Where the person or object is perfectly in the frame, and the rest is blurred out a bit in the background?
This is the perfect metaphor for how you see your Vision. It can either be the focus; upfront, and center - or blurred in the background.
The blurred background, while not in front and center, is still important. It fills out the space, provides depth, and adds clarity to the other parts of the photo.
Your Vision works the same way.
Where is your Vision in the photo of your life?
There can be times where you look at your Vision and what you need is up front and center.
Other times, it may be part of the background of your life.
You can shift your vision often.
Sometimes, you need to prioritize some things before others.
If you are not fulfilling a promise you may have for yourself, ask yourself “Is this the right work at the right time?”
If so, keep it in focus.
If it is the wrong time - keep it in the picture, but do not make it your focus.
Instead of beating yourself up for not achieving that promise to yourself in that exact moment, permit yourself to let it flow to the background.
Here is an example:
There could be a time in your life where keeping family, experiences, or careers front and center should be the focus. Working out and working towards a healthy body or diet may be part of your Vision, but a family situation may need to come first for a few weeks.
Give yourself grace and ask yourself if it is the right time for that particular action.
Listen to yourself about what is truly beneficial for you right now, and be intentional about pausing what needs to be paused.
What is holding you back from moving forward?
The second helpful question to ask yourself is this: What is holding you back from moving forward?
When you set a goal, you often create a to-do list of steps to reach that goal..right?
You create a Visionary roadmap of stepping stones to get you to where you want to go.
But here’s a thought - do you ALSO think of what may potentially hold you back?
You may think of your required steps, but I bet that you never anticipate what could potentially be a step back on that path forward.
In the Visioning process, I get leaders to map out all of the things that may hold them back in achieving their Vision.
What will propel you forward through the to-dos, and what may get in your way?
By outlining and anticipating our potential roadblocks we can neutralize them right from the beginning and avoid potential disasters on the way.
If we miss this step, we could make it so far down our list of steps, only to come upon something that sets us back right to the beginning.
Or, it may keep you stuck for way longer than it would’ve if you’d just worked out a plan to address it before you even hit it in the first place!
By preparing beforehand, you can make sure you are set up and ready to handle anything that comes your way.
If you prepare for potential setbacks, keep the right things in focus, and approach your thoughts with a neutral mindset then you will be able to fulfill your promises to yourself. You will be able to keep those priorities and your Vision perfectly in view.
If you want help mapping out these steps, or want to work through some potential setbacks,
let’s work together and talk through your roadmap.