The Visioning process is about your whole life (not just your work life), so part of my work with clients is helping them clarify the Vision for their relationships.
As a result, one of the books I recommend often is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
The Five Love Languages are:
Words of Affirmation
Gifts
Physical Touch
Acts of Service
Quality Time
Chapman explains that all of us give and receive love in different ways, which he refers to as “languages”. When someone loves you in your language, you feel that love in a deep and meaningful way. However, if someone loves you in a language that doesn’t speak to you, it gets lost in translation. The book shares lots of anecdotes and examples to illuminate how you can learn to speak your partner’s love language more fluently.
How about learning to speak your OWN love language..to YOURSELF?
As a Visionary, you get to take ownership of creating the future you want, and you know that you don’t have to wait – or depend solely on someone else – to start feeling the way you want to feel.
So, when you receive love from someone else, which language resonates most with you?
And how can you give more of that to yourself?
Here are some ideas to get you started:
Words of Affirmation
Be extra intentional about the media you listen to, including podcasts, audiobooks, the news or public radio. The words and tone of voice pumping through your earphones have an impact.
Notice the way your thoughts ‘feel’. As your internal dialogue goes on throughout the day, recognize the thoughts that bring a smile to your face, warmth to your heart, or excitement to your chest. Then, recognize the thoughts that feel like a weight on your shoulders, or that create a knot in your stomach or tension in your jaw. The more aware you are of the self-talk that feels good and bad, the more effectively you can amplify one and minimize the other.
Gifts
Gift subscriptions aren’t just for your friends and family. Order one for yourself and you’ll have a consistent cadence of love coming your way.
Dig out that meaningful tchotchke you got on a favorite trip and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day. Put special clothing you’ve gotten for yourself into your regular rotation of outfits, and break out that specialty olive oil or exotic space that’s felt too fancy to use.
Physical Touch
Carve out some time to make your office a place you want to be. From the temperature in your office to the material of your notebooks, and the ergonomics of your chair, desk, and keyboard, your physical space matters!
Give yourself permission to Invest in clothes, blankets, and utensils that feel really good when you use them.
Acts of Service
Make the life of ‘future-you’ a little easier. Always walk the dog first thing in the morning? Untie your shoes the night before and have them waiting by the door next to the leash.
Schedule a ‘Procrastination Obliteration’ Power Hour. Set your timer, knock out all those things you’ve been nagging yourself to complete and feel the relief of having them off your plate for good. (Spoiler Alert - I’m going to start hosting these Power Hours soon!)
Quality Time
Give yourself undivided attention. Ask “what do I need right now?” and fulfill that need, before moving on to the next part of your day or the next item on your list.
Schedule time to do that thing you’ve been wanting to do. Open up your calendar (yep, right now!) pick a date and write it in. Now that you’ve carved out this time for yourself, protect it.
Pick from a menu of 100+ self-care ideas to fill that quality time slot with yourself.
I’d love to hear what your love language is: please share in the comments! (My primary love language is Words of Affirmation, with Physical Touch a close second.)
