Have you ever wanted to pursue a dream or take a risk, but felt paralyzed by the fear of failure? You're not alone. The fear of failure is a common roadblock that can hold us back from achieving our goals and living our best lives.
Ask anyone if they love to win or hate to lose, and the answers will fall 50/50 on either side. The truth is, failure is as much a driving motivator as success is for many people.
Where does fear come from?
Fear is an instinctual response to potential threats or dangers. It’s a protective mechanism that prepares us for fight, flight, or freeze.
Specific fears, such as public speaking, could be due to past experiences of failure or rejection, societal pressure to succeed, or our own internal beliefs and expectations. Our upbringing and cultural background can also influence how we view failure and success.
When it comes to survival, fear can be helpful. When it comes to taking risks in our lives, fear can be stifling.
What does fear do to us?
Fear triggers physiological responses like increased heart rate, sweating, and heightened senses.
It can cloud our judgment and distort our perception of reality.
Fear can lead to avoidance behaviors, hindering personal growth and limiting opportunities.
We trap ourselves
One issue I hear a lot with my Visionaries is that it doesn’t feel worth doing X when you “already know Y is gonna happen”. This is called the Knower trap, and it’s your brain lying to you. Or that if you fail, your career will be ruined – this is the Victim trap. Too complicated to start that business? Too much work? Congrats, that’s the Complexity trap.
Shifting fear from a freezer to a motivator
Fear can be a powerful motivator, pushing us to take necessary action.
It can serve as a compass, highlighting areas where personal growth is needed.
By embracing fear, we can harness its energy and channel it towards positive change.
10 Ways to Overcome Fear of Failure
Acknowledge your fear. The first step to overcoming the fear of failure is to acknowledge that it exists. Recognize that it's a natural part of the process and that everyone experiences it at some point.
Trick yourself into excitement. The nervous system responds similarly to excitement as it does to anxiousness. The feeling is almost the same, so you get to control the label. You’re excited, and that brings a lot of other emotions with it. But labeling it as excitement and not worry, can help you anticipate the event with optimism.
Reframe failure. Failure is not the opposite of success. Instead of viewing it as a negative outcome, reframe it as a required part of the process, and a learning opportunity. Valuable data and insights can help you improve and grow faster than anything else.
Create a realistic Vision. Setting goals that are too lofty, binary, or unrealistic, can increase the fear of failure. Instead, envision small, achievable milestones and evidence that can help you build confidence and momentum.
Take action. Procrastination and avoidance can intensify the fear of failure. Take action towards your goals, even if it's just a small step. Celebrate your progress and use it as motivation to keep going.
Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and recognize that you're doing the best you can. Don't beat yourself up for mistakes or setbacks, but instead, use them as opportunities to learn and grow.
Surround yourself with support. Seek out the support of family, friends, or a mentor who can offer encouragement and guidance. Joining a community or group of like-minded individuals can also be helpful.
Be calm. Develop coping mechanisms, such as deep breathing or meditation, to help manage the physical side effects of anxiousness and worry.
Play the tape through. What’s the absolute worst that can happen if you absolutely take a nose-dive and fail forward, hard? Chances are, you won’t end up dead and neither will your career. Now play the tape through and imagine the feeling you’ll have when you look back at the step (even if one step, even if small) you took toward something you wanted.
Just do it. Gradually expose yourself to low-risk fear-inducing situations that desensitize and reduce fear, for example, by joining a public speaking club or role-playing hard conversations.
The fear of failure can be a powerful force that holds us back from achieving our goals and living our best lives. But by acknowledging our fear, reframing failure, setting realistic goals, taking action, practicing self-compassion, and surrounding ourselves with support, we can overcome it and achieve success.
Remember, failure is not the opposite of success, but a part of the journey. Embrace it, learn from it, and use it as fuel to propel you toward your dreams. You got this!
